A Family Lost, A Family Found
by Romantic Medievalist
Summary: AU Takes place after the end of the film. She has everything she could ever want, but can she ever overcome the grief associated with her past?


**Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Romanov history or the Disney film, just this plot. **

**Hi people! *waves* As a child, I always had a fascination with the Russian Princess Anastasia and the history of her family's annihilation. I was watching the 1997 Disney version tonight and felt inspired to write this one shot. I hope you all enjoy it! **

Anastasia POV

It has been six months since Dimitri and I left Paris and settled in wondrous Monaco, yet it feels like just yesterday that I found my beloved Grandmama and avenged the deaths of my family by defeating Rasputin. Just thinking about that creature makes my blood boil and my face harden with rage.

_Why?! Why did he have to go after my family?! What did we ever do to him?! He was a power-hungry, cold-hearted bastard, and I wish my father had never met him! Then all of them would still be alive! _

The more I thought about it, the more consumed with despair I became. I stood looking out of a window in our bedroom, in the beautiful home that we had chosen to be our own. I wrapped my arms around myself, attempting to stifle the sobs I could feel building in my chest.

I feared letting them loose, for Dimitri was in his study nearby, and would no doubt be able to hear them. He is a strong, brave man, but seeing me cry breaks his heart - I can see it every time I allow myself to break down in front of him.

He tells me often that I can talk to him about anything, that we have no secrets from one another now, but every time he mentions my family, I lose control. Sometimes I think I was better off when I didn't know who I was…I had no memories, but I didn't have this endless heartache.

But then I think of my Grandmama, and how I met Dimitri, and I know having them in my life is worth any amount of pain I endure. I just sometimes wish things had been different, that I could have my family together and been raised by my parents with my siblings.

I had similar thoughts and feelings on my wedding day, when my mother wasn't there to help me with my hair or give me advice on how to be a good wife, and my father wasn't there to walk me down the aisle to my soon-to-be husband.

But if that had happened, I most likely would have married a titled prince in some other land, and never known the all-encompassing love I have with Dimitri, who I know loves me for 'me,' and has given me more than I could have ever dreamed of.

Then I lower one hand and place it on my stomach, and I remember why I embarked on this trip down memory lane in the first place. I smiled in spite of my pain, thinking of the little one that was on its way.

Would it be a little girl with Dimitri's soulful brown eyes and my red hair, or a little boy with my blue eyes and Dimitri's untamable brown hair? How would I know how to care for it? When it's hungry, or tired, or sick? How would I teach it right from wrong, and how to treat others?

_Now, more than ever, I wished that I had my mother here to talk to and ask for advice! _I thought and closed my eyes tightly while tears escaped them. My beautiful, kind, wonderful mother, from whom Grandmama told me I got my 'beauty' from.

I never saw myself as beautiful, well at least until I fell in love with Dimitri. He tells me all the time how beautiful and special I am, which are things I never heard growing up in the orphanage. I was never abused or mistreated, but no one ever showed me any affection either.

I used to dream about what my family was like, and how I got separated from them. I imagined that my father was this tall, gallant, brave man and my mother was a beautiful, sweet, and loving woman. I imagined I had lots of brothers and sisters whom I would fight with constantly but whom I loved with my whole heart.

All of what I dreamed of all my life was true, but it was in the past now. They were all taken from me that horrible night, and I cannot even begin to comprehend how Grandmama survived all these years thinking that her whole family had been murdered.

I imagine how they would have reacted to my joyous news….

_Dimitri and I would sit across from my beloved parents, who would never cease to show me how much I mean to them, and as Dimitri holds my hand I would tell them, "Mama, Papa, we are going to have a child!"_

_Mother would gasp excitedly and as tears filled her eyes she would rise and pull me up into a hug and kiss my cheek and say, "Congratulations, darling! We are so happy for you both!"_

_Then Father, who had come to stand next to us would pull me into his arms and rest his cheek on top of my head and say "We are indeed my dearest one! You have all that we have ever wanted for you: a man that you love as your husband and now a beautiful child created out of that love."_

_I would hug him tighter then, basking in the warmth that always filled me when he would hug me. I loved my mother more than anything, but it was my father that I was truly closest to. In a shaky voice I would reply, " Thank you Papa, I feel as if my life is now complete."_

I jump a little as I feel the arms of my beloved husband of three months wrap around me, bringing me out of my daydream. "Are you alright, my love? You seemed very deep in thought." I smile as I turn in his arms and reply, "Yes, I am fine. Just daydreaming, that's all."

His eyes study mine, no doubt seeing the trails of my tears, and he frowns. Pulling back to place his hands on my upper arms, he says in a quiet voice, "Are you sure? You seem upset. Is it your Grandmama's telegram that arrived today? Was there bad news?"

"Shaking my head with a small smile, I tell him, "No, quite the opposite, actually. She and Sophie are doing well, and Sophie and Vlad are engaged." His concerned expression morphs into a puzzled one, "Then why the sad face, darling?"

I lift my hands to cup his cheeks and bring his forehead to mine, closing my eyes. _I don't know what I did to deserve this wonderful man, but I thank God for him every day._ "Anya? Please talk to me, sweetheart!"

I hear his voice quicken with what I'm sure is leading to panic, so I answer him, "Nothing is wrong, I swear it. I was just thinking about my family, how we would tell my parents about our happy news. I was sad for a moment, wishing my mother could be here with me."

He doesn't respond, but I feel him lift his head to kiss my forehead and then run his fingers through my long red hair. After a few minutes of losing myself in his affectionate ministrations, he lifts my chin and I open my eyes to see his looking at me.

"I know this is hard for you, my darling. As an orphan myself, I know a small modicum of what it feels like to have an absence in my heart where my family once was. And I know I will never know the full extent of the grief you feel at the loss of most of your family. But know this: I will always be here to love you in the way you deserve to be loved, and soon our child will too."

Happy tears fill my eyes as I whisper, "I do know that, Dimitri. My life has always been empty, having no one to love and no one to love me - meeting and falling in love with you has given me such joy and filled a space in my heart I didn't even know was there. I love you so very much!"

I see tears filling his eyes at my words, and he takes my hand and places both over my stomach, "As I love you, Anya. And I too am sad when I think of all we have lost, until I force myself to think of the future, and of the loving life we will give to our child. He or she completes us."

He pulls me into his arms then, and I nod as I rest my head on his chest, and listen to his heartbeat. As I think of all that I have survived, and all that I have been given, I cannot help but think that it was meant to be this way, and that maybe my parents are watching over me. And I smile at the thought. I finally have my happily ever after, even if it's not exactly the way I dreamed it.

**I hope you all enjoyed that! I always wished that the movie explored Anastasia's grief over the deaths of her family after learning who she was, and also the future she would have with Dimitri. Please review, and thank you for reading! I'll be updating my other stories soon - promise! :)**


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